Honestly Aza...I couldnt agree with you more. In fact, this piece isn't just intsy wintsy mad. It's absolutely ludacrously illogical, almost to the poit of insane asylum levels. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I wish I was being sarcastic in this post bad sadly i am not. There are some psychological issues here behind why I still smoke after having tongue cancer. I'm self destructive and have had bouts with that type of behavior my entire life. Its kind of like this. Doing things that are wrong or just downright stupid... for some strange reason makes me feel as if I'm the one in control of my body and self. It makes me feel powerful against the invisible forces in life that you cannot see or control. Acting self destructive is me saying FUCK YOU to that force. Weird? Yes. Why? I'm pretty thats why. Anyhow again TY so so much for your time. Take care and lets keep in touch.